Things I’m Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures.
3. Sirius Black is not #24601.
4. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking awayis only funny the first time.
5. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
6. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
7. I will not send shampoo to Snape's office, no matter how badly heneeds it.
8. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
9. Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammer school with him,is NOT Yoda in disguise.
10. First years are not toys; I should not teach the Giant Squid to fetch them.
11. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, Iwill not use guns against the Deatheaters.
12. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."
13. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
14. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
15. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
16. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion NumberNine".
17. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
18. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of-1 is.
19. I will not lick Trevor.
20. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.